SONG: “Might As Well Be (Considering Inkayacu paracasensis)”. (To download: double right-click & “Save As”)
ARTIST: grant.
SOURCE: Based on “36 million-year-old penguin was five feet tall and had reddish-brown feathers”, io9.com (quoting Science), 30 September 10, as used in the post Red Super-penguin.
ABSTRACT: Do I have to explain what I was thinking here? I probably do. The natural reaction to learning of a five-foot-tall red-and-grey-feathered penguin is to laugh, I think. And there are plenty of novelty songs about prehistoric creatures already (don’t I know it). But the thing that makes them funny creatures is that they’re not around any more. For one reason or not, they faded away to make room for a new version. I’d say “Isn’t that just like life?” except it isn’t like life, it is life – it’s how things work. It’s what makes the ecosystem go. Organic farmers are the harshest Darwinists, you know. All those petrochemical fertilizers and antibiotics are there to allow the weak to survive. So that’s where this went.
Relationships like giant, graceful, ridiculous, noble creatures. Behold the Water King, ye mighty, and despair.
I tried to work harder than usual on getting this to sound good. I’ve been using Reaper for… what, three years?… and only now looked up how to turn the ReaFir effect into a noise reducer. And let me tell you, it’s amazing and easy. The rest was just a matter of… well, I thought of the ukulele riff first, then wanted both counterpoint and low end, so that bass part slotted itself in a couple days later. The percussion is heavily treated thumps on a book recorded with the onboard mic on this netbook. (This is “harder than usual to sound good,” OK? For me.) The lyrics were mostly written on my bicycle. I mean, I was riding the bicycle and thinking up words. I wrote them on paper later, once I’d gotten off the bike. I found myself asking “How would John Darnielle finish this verse?” whenever I got stuck, and kinda just made a guess based on that. By the end, I was a little surprised that the giant penguins hadn’t spoken more or at least emerged more often in the song, but they do kind of haunt the thing.
LYRICS:
The man who said it was wrong to stay
Is not the man who’s speaking here today
And the person to whom these things were said –
She might as well be dead.The birds outside tapping on the glass
Are not the monsters of the past
Like five-foot penguins in gray and red
Every last one of them dead
Every last one of them dead…CH:
The ice at the pole is always melting
And the water in the oceans always rise
Though the glaciers come and we reach low tide,
Know that nothing every truly lived
That had not first died.The more comfortable things that you slipped on
You only wore for a while, then they were gone
Dreaming of coffee and breakfast in bed
We might as well be deadThe birds in the zoo look funny that way
They’re all dressed up with nothing to say
Would they still mate for life if they could see what’s ahead?
Every last one of them dead.
Every last one of them dead…CH:
The ice in your drink is always melting
And the condensation drips around your eyes
Though your fingers freeze as you hold fast to your pride,
Know that nothing every truly lived
That had not first died.And the shadows reaching for your front door
Are not the same things that frightened us before
Like five-foot penguins in gray and red
Every last one of them dead(SOLO)
I’m reassured that you’re doing well
On long, lonely nights, I’ve missed you like hell
Maybe we could worked things out instead
Or maybe we could have been dead
Maybe we could have been dead (x2)CH:
The ice at the pole is always melting
And the water in the oceans always rise
Though the glaciers come and we reach low tide,
Know there’s not a thing that every truly lived
That had not first died. (x4)