SONG: Vulnerable Ape Theory (Going to a Blues Show with the Young Earth Creationists)


“Vulnerable Ape Theory (Going to a Blues Show with the Young Earth Creationists)”. [Download]

ARTIST: grant.

SOURCE:Based on “Vulnerability made us human: how our early ancestors turned disability into advantage”, PhysOrg, 15 June 2015, as used in the post “The Vulnerable Ape theory of human origins.

ABSTRACT: This is the late song. I had the chorus on time, but no verses. Will these do? They have mutations and selection in them.

This is a song about tolerating people who are wrong and different, just because the more we do that, the better off our species is.

Let selection happen.

Maybe someday I’ll get someone with a sweet, fey voice to record this for me… it so wants to be twee.

And I’ll actually play a slide guitar in the bridge, where we’re singing about slide guitars. (Because we’re going to a blues show, remember?)

The Young Earth Creationists would actually be a pretty good name for a band, were it not liable to lead to contentious misunderstandings, which is exactly what this song is not about.


I am going to a blues show with the young earth creationists (CGFC)
We don’t have to think about our origins (FCGG)
To make the good times last, we never talk about the past (CGFC)
Cuz everyone’s got something wrong (x2)
Everyone’s got something that might seem a little weird. (FCGC)

V1: Our fathers grew up in these valleys
And their fathers lost their hair
And their fathers had these funny little thumbs
Now they’re everywhere.
At least six thousand years


V2: No, they are not like us, really.
No, they never, ever are.

Tolerate the next mutation.
Greet the neighbors in their yards.
Let selection happen.


BR: Slide.
Slide guitar.
Break down the walls.
Open the bars.

If you could see.
Watch the band.
Then lend a hand if you’ve still got one