Science Art: Schematic illustration of skeleton of Glyptotherium arizonae (modified for Glyptotherium after Burrmeister and Hoffstetter), 1981.

Scientific illustration of a prehistoric armadillo, the giant armored glyptodont.
Scientific illustration of a prehistoric armadillo, the giant armored glyptodont.

The giant armadillo of Pleistocene-era Arizona, from David D. Gillette’s Smithsonian publication, Glyptodonts of North America, found on archive.org.

Based on their teeth and joints, it seemed like these big guys ate soft vegetables near large bodies of water in low, flat areas of what used to be tropical North America. As the abstract put it: “Graviportal limb proportions and details of the gross osteology suggest slow and cumbersome locomotion, which probably precluded occupation of upland habitats.”

They also seemed to use their tails for fighting. Aiming must have been tricky – that tail doesn’t seem to reach that head. Best steer clear of the whole armored affair, if you asked me.