SONG: White coffee and omelets.

SONG: “White Coffee and Omelets.”

ARTIST: grant.

SOURCE: Based on “Cut Sugary Drinks; Add Coffee, Eggs“, Laboratory Equipment, 20 February 2015,as used in the post “Breakfast is championed (at last)”.

ABSTRACT: Yeah, this is a song about high-cholesterol food as deus ex machina. The first thing that came to me was the chorus about General La Salle (while I was doing yard work, naturally). I’d been reading “The Pit and the Pendulum” to my son as a bedtime story (for peaceful sleep, of course) and we were both disconcerted by the ending.

And the way nutritional guidelines keep veering off the expected route… similarly disconcerting.

The percussion was inspired by a recent (or at least recent to me) Song Exploder on The Books. I couldn’t get my turntable to do the cool analog loopy thing with the runoff groove (the arm always wants to return home), but did get some interesting sounds using PVC pipe. Not *exactly* what I might have been going for were I really going for something specific, but it’s definitely something organic and kind of interesting.

Yet somehow, I kept wanting this to sound like John Darnielle or Simon Joyner or someone more forward and straightforward. Which would have meant some kind of “real”-sounding drums. Yet here we are.

Lyrics:

Tuning: E-A-D(down an octave)-G-B-D

Vs: A G D D
Ch: (Dx4 Gx4) x2
DD GG DD AA
DD AA GG EmEm

V1: Somehow we cheated
When the weather turned cold
white coffee and omelets
will help us grow old – together

CH: The Inquisition fell into the hands of its enemies
We reached our hand out to find General LaSalle
The machines in the wall
Halted by the trumpets’ call
And not one of us could have predicted
the way these cards would fall
& somehow we cheated

V2: All our bad habits
Turned out OK in the end
white coffee and omelets
full fat, high octane, friend

CH: The Martian hordes all came down with the sniffles
Vast, cool, unsympathetic and unvaccinated freaks
The machines from the skies (were grounded)
You’d think they’d somehow realize
but not one of them could have predicted
the way their cards would fall
and that somehow we cheated.

V3: No diet soda will save you
No dieting turns back time
Coffee, cream and two sunny side up
Go all the way to the finish line

CH: The Inquisition fell into the hands of its enemies
We reached our hand out to find General LaSalle
The machines in the wall
Halted by the trumpets’ call
And not one of us ever expected
the way these cards would fall
& somehow we cheated

All the way past the finish line
All the way past…